why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
