I need help removing her.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You are the jesus of drinking
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
