Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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