i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Enjoy the penises
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
