Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
