So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
