I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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