Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
