just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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