I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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