you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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