apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
is wine microwaveable?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think your dad took our porno
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
