How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
