theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
