that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize