I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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