normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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