Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im six kinds of drunk right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
