I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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