I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
