theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
