Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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