Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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