I love black thongs
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
