He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
