Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
