I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
