Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sponge bath it is.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
