y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
