were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
should my penis look like a turkey
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
