i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
