dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sext me about skeletons
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
