It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
