Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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