We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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