Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
