I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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