Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
