the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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