you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
