i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
