I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Screwed.edu
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
