So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
