WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love having hate sex.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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