fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize