Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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