I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
