your room smells of hookers.
And success
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize