Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
