her vagine was all disorganized.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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