apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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