happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
