I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
