I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize