OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
