Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
