You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
