quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
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