I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
