Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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