You're so nebulous sometimes
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
only if we run a train.
done.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
