Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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