This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
